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Audiobooks

Making bills and earnin’ like a baller with l33tskillz4va’s crypto fast cash is not what happens in this book!

But there are killer trees and bloody arena battles. What more could you want? Except sex. That happens too.

It also resolves plot points like certain characters stuck in a painting and what’s Petra’s mom doin’ at that volcano, yo!

I mean I guess there’s stuff like personal character growth and human connection and all that warm, squishy stuff.

But did I mention sex that happens in this book, and magic, swords, battle axes, battles, and plenty limbs being chopped off?

Oh yeah, it’s all in the third Misfits of Carnt!

Orcs invading Portland, a wolf in the janitor’s closet, black ooze dissolving the gym teacher: a typical day for the students of Beaverton High and their fearless teaching assistant.

Petra thought working for her old high school was the worst thing that could happen to her—until a magical disease infected her son.

Meanwhile, the Barbarians Breakfast Club faces creatures invading their high school and murdering their classmates and principal. Okay, so maybe the latter isn’t that bad.

The phenomena intensify, and soon, it is not just the high school that’s infested with murderous creatures. So, our hapless heroes must seek aid from old allies and enemies.

Find out if Portland can survive in the second Misfits of Carnt novel.

Necromantic rituals, murderous ogres, battle-scarred rangers: not a typical Saturday detention for unsuspecting teaching assistant, Petra, and her delinquent teen charges.

The Beaverton High School Breakfast Club show up for what they thought would be cleaning the locker room with a toothbrush when the morning goes horribly wrong, and they fall victim to a deadly, dark spell.

Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra’s three-year-old into the body of a musclebound barbarian, and she is transformed into a halfling. The kids get stuck as a cleric, fire mage, and other stalwarts of your typical fantasy gaming party.

Now they must quest through a land of pissed-off warriors, angry giants, a pompous vampire, and a necromancer out to kill Petra and her child.

Despite being in a world where everything threatens to unalive her, the hardest part is convincing a hulked-out man that the battle axe is not a toy, the undead are not cuddly, and he should use the potty.

Being too close to the truth got Jon Xiong’s mother killed.

While searching for answers, a murderous cult shows up at his door.

A secretive organization called the Tuners comes to his aide and teaches him about his rare ability to travel between worlds called tuning.

He grapples with his new superpower and is stuck between those who would maintain order in the multiverse and those who would destroy it. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
The cultists have taken over HQ, and the Tuners are in hiding.

Jon and the team try to rebuild, they meet a mysterious bounty hunter with information that could help change the tide of the war.

The answers they need are locked away in Universe One. Universe One created the technology to travel the multiverse long ago, closed their borders, and nobody knows why.

While Time is running short. The High Priest sends a message to the multiverse: convert or die. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
In exchange for the comfort of now, people gave up tomorrow.

The builders of Tuners HQ aren’t what anybody expected. The conflict today was forged in the fires of yesterday.

The Tuners have lost too much to the cult and are forced into a choice that divides the team.

With the technology of Universe One on their side, they may find a way to end the reign of religious terror forever, but the cost is high.

The fate of the multiverse hangs in the balance. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
A young, idealistic financial crimes investigator finds a body in a ditch.
Reese investigates corporate fraud and discovers some joker has been giving away free couches to the needy, because when a person can no longer afford the subscription service fees, all their furniture disappears.
The bearer of sofas ends up in a ditch when blunt force trauma snuffs out the poor’s best chance of not living in an empty room their whole life.
Reese rolls up his sleeves. Time to get to work… until a drone strike almost wipes him out.
Maybe he’s onto something bigger than he thought? Listen today with an Audible Free Trial.

Atmospheric Pressure 2 Audiobook
Olson is trapped in a city that is on the hunt for him. He has nowhere to run as the whole place is sealed from the toxic atmosphere. Nobody wants to help him until he meets a scientist who knows his true origins. Meanwhile, back home, his friends are caught under the thumb of a brutal regime, until they decide to fight back. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
ORION Audiobook
Orion is dead again. Whether death comes from a stab wound, a bullet to the brain, or just plain dumb luck, he always comes back. He is glad to have the second chances because there is a princess in each life who seems to be in trouble. Whether she’s a nurse in the Vietnam war or medieval English royalty, Orion is determined to win her over. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
Atmospheric Pressure Audiobook
Olson lives in a city that has been sealed from the outside world. He’s an Eleven Year and close to citizenship. His life is upended when one of the few adults who cares about him commits suicide – or so it appears at first. While investigating, Olson meets a girl named Natalie snooping around his school. He soon learns that one of her friends died under similarly mysterious circumstances. Together, they start looking for answers, and end up discovering the city’s darkest secrets. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
Time Agency Audiobook
Fugitive 07760 woke to a busy city street. His memory was blank. A well-dressed man approached him. He left a locked briefcase at 07760’s feet. An agent named Nanette tracked 07760. Her agency had been following the anomalous man through time. But the case was different than all the rest. Her well-dressed protégé had given the fugitive the briefcase. A fellow time agent getting involved was cause for panic. 07760’s memory came back slowly as the technology in his body began to regenerate his neural pathways. Fragments of a past bubbled to his conscience. He wasn’t sure if it was worth reliving. There was a blond woman from years ago, and she disappeared because she was curious. He was on the run because he asked a simple question. “What’s the future like?” There was much information about the past. Historians would travel back, blend in, and record “real” history, but 07760 was not allowed to travel to the future. Why was future travel restricted to some mysterious agency division? There was no time to think. The time agents are on his heels. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.
Cowboys and Drones Audiobook
Cowboys and Drones is a collection of short stories including: The Entire Sperm Donor for a Cosmic Paradox Series: Jed finds out some disturbing news after a DNA test. He is his own great great grandfather. However, Jed’s daily struggles involve video games and crippling self doubt. He’s not the time traveling pioneer type. He may as well try to get to the bottom of the mystery. It’s at least a reason to get off his couch. Anna is the time traveling type and Jed’s ex-girlfriend. She finds herself in the Old West in a town terrorized by a man called the Gold Piece Bandit. Jed better get off his butt and help her. Although Anna has never been the type to let the men do all the shooting. Our Final Days on Bellicus Prime: 142 is a researcher from an advanced civilization that watches other pre-faster-than-light civilizations to see if they are fit to join the intergalactic community. Do the citizens of Bellicus value war over art and science? Is it right to kill a warlike species before they start the war? 142 must answer some difficult questions before he risks his career on the dominate species of Bellicus Prime. Zero cost with an Audible free trial.